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My Review

Cannibal! The Musical

Cannibal! The Musical is based on the true story of Alferd Packer, the only American ever convicted of cannibalism. Trey Parker wrote and directed the movie. Trey Parker also starred as Alferd Packer. Ian Hardin played Shannon Bell, Jason McHugh as Frank Miller, Dian Bachar as George Noon, Jon Hegel as Israel Swan, Matt Stone as James Humphrey, and Toddy Walters as Polly Pry.

Packer leads a group of men from Utah to Colorado in hopes of finding gold, but all they find is that they are completely lost. This tagline sums it up pretty nicely: "Lost without food, they must turn to the ultimate horror...EATING EACH OTHER...and, of course, SINGING and DANCING!"

The movie starts off with a repulsive scene of Packer biting necks, ripping off arms, and cracking jaws. Then he pulls the tongue out of one man's mouth, and is holding it above his mouth about to swallow it when the movie flashes to a courtroom scene where a lawyer is reenacting what happened to convince the jury that Packer committed murder. Everyone in the courtroom is disgusted, and so are you (if you kept your eyes open).

In Lake City, Colorado in 1883, reporter Polly Pry goes to Packer's jail cell to try to get him to spill some information about what really happened. She can not get him to talk about anything that happened. So, with the suggestion of a lawyer she had just talked to, she convinces him to talk about Liane: "She was beautiful. She had long, dark, shiny hair, and almond eyes, and little pointy ears, and a big fluffy tail..." Well, you get the idea, Liane was a horse. Packer then tells Polly Pry exactly what happened on his trip.

Along the way, Packer and his five mining buddies encounter a few crazy trappers, a singing cat, a tribe of foreign "Indians," a Cyclops with a pus-squirting eye, and the biggest freakin' river they've seen in their entire lives. In the end of the movie, the whole town gets together to sing and dance to an Oklahoma-type song, "Hang the Bastard!"

Although this movie sounds like it would be a big joke, it is actually very well done. Trey Parker did a wonderful job of writing and directing (especially considering it was his first feature film). Trey Parker also wrote the songs in the movie (which are extremely catchy). The acting in this movie is definitely fun to watch. On the commentary track of the DVD, they explained how they heard the best way to act was by speaking softly. Since everyone involved in the making of this film was still in college, they had a very limited budget, but they did really well with what they had (check out the gunshot scene!) They filmed Cannibal! on location in Colorado, just about as close as you could get to the actual route the group took.

In my personal opinion, this is the greatest comedy-horror-musical of all time. In years to come, this movie will become a classic - if it isn't one already.

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Last update: Thursday, January 29th, 2015

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